the Peanut times by: Gareth

Greetings~♥
welcome to the ghostly, GHASTLY 13th issue of the peanut times!!! before starting our feast of horror, let us venture into the world of complicating, big exciting world of the complications of the complicating compilation of... okay la, its homework. my experience in 5g... i love my class!!! ms zarinah so rox. she lets us have extra supplementary!!! wooo!!! and more loveable homework!!! yay!!! anyway, let the shock fest start now!! im watching you... you're every move... this is a story called Axe Murder Hollow...
Susan and Ned were driving through a wooded empty section of highway. Lightning flashed, thunder roared, the sky went dark in the torrential downpour. “We’d better stop,” said Susan. Ned nodded his head in agreement. He stepped on the brake, and suddenly the car started to slide on the slick pavement. They plunged off the road and slid to a halt at the bottom of an incline. Pale and shaking, Ned quickly turned to check if Susan was all right. When she nodded, Ned relaxed and looked through the rain soaked windows. “I’m going to see how bad it is,” he told Susan, and when out into the storm. She saw his blurry figure in the headlight, walking around the front of the car. A moment later, he jumped in beside her, soaking wet. “The car’s not badly damaged, but we’re wheel-deep in mud,” he said. “I’m going to have to go for help.” Susan swallowed nervously. There would be no quick rescue here. He told her to turn off the headlights and lock the doors until he returned. Ax Murder Hollow. Although Ned hadn’t said the name aloud, they both knew what he had been thinking when he told her to lock the car. This was the place where a man had once taken an axe and hacked his wife to death in a jealous rage over an alleged affair. Supposedly, the axe-wielding spirit of the husband continued to haunt this section of the road. Outside the car, Susan heard a shriek, a loud thump, and a strange gurgling noise. But she couldn’t see anything in the darkness. Frightened, she shrank down into her seat. She sat in silence for a while, and then she noticed another sound. Bump. Bump. Bump. It was a soft sound, like something being blown by the wind. Suddenly, the car was illuminated by a bright light. An official sounding voice told her to get out of the car. Ned must have found a police officer. Susan unlocked the door and stepped out of the car. As her eyes adjusted to the bright light, she saw it. Hanging by his feet from the tree next to the car was the dead body of Ned. His bloody throat had been cut so deeply that he was nearly decapitated. The wind swung his corpse back and forth so that it thumped against the tree. Bump. Bump. Bump. Susan screamed and ran toward the voice and the light. As she drew close, she realized the light was not coming from a flashlight. Standing there was the glowing figure of a man with a smile on his face and a large, solid, and definitely real axe in his hands. She backed away from the glowing figure until she bumped into the car. “Playing around when my back was turned,” the ghost whispered, stroking the sharp blade of the axe with his fingers. “You’ve been very naughty.” The last thing she saw was the glint of the axe blade in the eerie, incandescent light.

wonder if that was a good one... anyway, poem time!!!!!!
Death Poems.....
Hell...Oh!
One Nine Two"
Hello, directory enquiries,
How can I help you?"
"I've been trying a certain number
And I can't seem to get through"
"Name Please"
"Insurance broker of high accreditation
Lucifer Beelzebub and Satan.."
Hell-oWelcome to Lucifer, Beelzebub and Satan
Press 1 for a policy enquiry
Press 2 for a statement of payment
Press 3 for to hold indefinitely if you're a pestering claimant.
Thank you.. We as Lucifer Beelzebub and Satan
Ask you to continue to hold
and remind you we're not sorry to keep you waiting
"Hell-o, Which department can I transfer you to?"
"I'm not sure, my policy's run out and I would like to renew"
"Renew you say?"
"Yes Renew"
"Mmm you need the Customer department they'll explain the deal to you"
"Ill try to put you through"
"Hell-o, Customer department"
"Policy number or your name will do"
"Ah yes here we are the reception said you wanted to renew?"
"Yes Renew"
"Renew?"
"Yes damn you! RENEW!"
"There really is no need for sir to shout,
I'll transfer you to our legal bloke
He'll explain what your policies about."
"Hell-o, Legal department"
"Don't transfer me again
That music on hold is hell!"
"Sir you've not guessed who your broker is
You really cannot tell....
It does clearly state in your life insurance policy
In the small print under soul along from damnation be
Which I must point out is really the key,
you cannot ever renew your policy
However Sir, as you can see you may have grounds to appeal
As you haven't grasped the policy issues very well I feel
I'll transfer you to special cases,
They look at each case on an individual basis.
And as a special case
You will meet a representative face to face
Pencil you in for a quarter to eight
Tomorrow morning at the cemetery gate
I'll send a car
Oh and sir they don't like to be kept waiting
So don't be late
Well, anymore than you already are

that sure was tiring... however, the next fabulous issue will be a happy issue instead of scary... still watching you... even in the toilet!!! (jk) anyway, remember to keep a lookout!!!!! this is reporter Gareth, signing off~