Wednesday, 19 May 2010

the Peanut times By:Gareth


Greetings~♥

Hey ppl, sorry for the long wait... I had temporarily run out of great ideas -.- Now, as usual, homework comes first, so my SA1 results shall be painstakingly revealed by me... EL:80/100, CL:78.25/100, MA:70/100, SC:59/100 T_T I basically improved in 3 subjects, but not in science. I AM EXTREMELY 에 만족하지 못할!!!! I will work very hard from now on and no slacking for me!!

Now that homework is done, time for a lamest-lame-of-the-lame joke

NEWS SECTION
This is the part where i update every reader with the latest news and what is going on!

News #1 ( Picture is up there )
Think flying economy is bad now? New aircraft design puts passengers face-to-face in rows for budget travel

Air travel is being overhauled with a new aircraft design which plans to seat passengers facing each other in rows.

The controversial design is intended to save space and money and could see 50 per cent more passengers packed on to each plane.

Howard Guy, director of the UK company Design Q, acknowledges that some people will not be happy with the plan, but says they will be able to pay less for any inconvenience.


News #2 ( Ms Zarinah should be interested )


Police chief denounces 'cowardly' iPhone users monitoring speed traps


Area drivers looking to outwit police speed traps and traffic cameras are using an iPhone application and other global positioning system devices that pinpoint the location of the cameras.

That has irked D.C. police chief Cathy Lanier, who promised her officers would pick up their game to counteract the devices, which can also help drivers dodge sobriety checkpoints.

"I think that's the whole point of this program," she told The Examiner. "It's designed to circumvent law enforcement -- law enforcement that is designed specifically to save lives."

The new technology streams to iPhones and global positioning system devices, sounding off an alarm as drivers approach speed or red-light cameras.

Lanier said the technology is a "cowardly tactic" and "people who overly rely on those and break the law anyway are going to get caught" in one way or another.

The greater D.C. area has 290 red-light and speed cameras -- comprising nearly 10 percent of all traffic cameras in the U.S., according to estimates by a camera-tracking database called the POI Factory.

Lanier said the cameras have decreased traffic deaths. Red-light and speed cameras have been a hot topic in Montgomery County since Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley signed a bill in May allowing local governments to place speed cameras in school and highway construction zones.

Montgomery County police did not respond to calls and e-mails for this story.

Ralph Ganoe of Silver Spring said he uses detection software from a Washington-based company, PhantomAlert, to avoid speed traps and crowded intersections.

"Well, my pocket has money in it," Ganoe quipped, when asked about the software's impact on his driving record. "Everybody's got a heavy foot. ... Now I don't have to worry about where [the cameras] are at."

PhantomAlert mimics radar detectors — which are outlawed in D.C. and Virginia — by alerting drivers of nearby enforcement "points of interest" via global positioning system devices. PhantomAlert keeps up to date on traffic enforcement through its users, who contribute information online.

Founder and CEO of PhantomAlert Joe Scott claimed nine out of 10 police departments across the country support his software.

"If police come against us, it's going to make them look like they are only [after] revenue" from the camera-generated citations, he said.

Photo radar tickets generated nearly $1 billion in revenues for D.C. during fiscal years 2005 to 2008.

In the current fiscal year, Montgomery County expects to make $29 million from its red light and speed cameras. Lanier said efforts to outlaw the software would be too difficult.

She said, "with the Internet and all the new technology, it's almost impossible to stop the flow of information."

Really long, but worth the effort. Okay, here's a joke for you


D: Ah boy ah, your exam do so well, what you wan? ahpa buy for you!

S: I want the PSP wif a downloaded game. Dam expensive sia!

D: Walau, u go buy pang-sai program for wad?

S: Ahpa, PSP not pang-sai program, is PlayStation Portable larh

D: Wah seh, Pang-sai got portable one ar? How much? Got portable toilet ar, want to Pang-sai very easy!

S: Ahpa, you stupid izzit? Toilet where got portable one? Juz take me go buy larh.

D: Let's Go!


AT THE PSP SHOP


D: The Pang-sai so expensive?! Whose Pang-sai so treasure? S.R Nathan one arh?

S: Shut up, ahpa.

S: I download Naruto Ultimate Ninja 3...... OKAY! Thanks uncle!


AT HOME


D: Stupid Pang-sai... So dam expensive sia...

( Sasuke's Chidori Sound effect)

S: Yes! I win Suigetsu le! Complete mission liao!


THE NEXT MORNING


S: Ahpa! You play my PSP?!

D: Wah, this portable Pang-sai dam fun leh

S: Shut up ahpa.



Now for some poems!

I'm A Hotel Manager

I'm a Hotel Manager,
Always at my best,
Providing customer service,
And satisfaction to every guest.

I'm expected to speak the language,
Of each and every nation,
Be a geographical expert,
When taking a reservation.

I check you in, I check you out,
I can even read your mind,
Send a fax, fix the printer,
All at the same time.

Change a light bulb, flip a breaker,
Of course I can repair your T.V!
Fix the A/C, plunge a toilet,
A Jack Of All Trades, that's me.

I'm a desk clerk, I'm a housemaid,
I'm a bellboy at the door,
Catering to your every whim,
I'm your personal slave, need I say more!

LOL-NESS TO THE EXTREME!!! anyway, we have come to the end of the majestic peanut times! keep a lookout for the next issue as we criticise people positively (opposite) !!! bye! This is reporter Gareth, signing off~~




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