the Peanut times by: Gareth

Greetings~♥


welcome to the ever-reliable 9th issue of the peanut times. today, we have 2 new stuff, peom section and Tah Xue Feng's favourite, quizzes!! as you all know, school life is tough. nobody likes school ( if you like it get outta here. JOKING) because, well... teachers are fierce and well, fierce and we dont like school for lots of reasons. For curious readers or fans of the fantabulous newspaper ( even if you're not, just answer ) please write reasons why you hate school or education in the comments box below!!!


for this reporter, homework is unavoidable. but fortunately, i finished my HM already! okay, lets move on to the next topic. does everyone have pimples? we hate pimples. why, oh why do they come to live on our faces?

WHY DO PIMPLES LOVE TO LIVE ON OUR FACES?

A) pimples are caused by over stress from school and therefore causing our sweat glands on our face to beg for mercy, so they make pimples to cover themselves up from listening to lessons

B) oil and dirt trapped on our face

C)our faces are oh so beautiful

D) THEY GOT NO BRAINS

i think that we must put our heads together to solve this one. so fans, please write down your answers in ther coulumn below that says comments.

~THE POEM SECTION~

The Childbirth Demon



My wife gave birth last night,
But Jesus what a fuss!
All that screaming and a wailing,
You know guys - it wouldn't happen if it were us.

I told this to my missus,
Told her to take it like a man,
She fixed me with an evil glare,
Said I would understand...
"I'm going to teach you a lesson" she said,
"You'll be visited tonight,
By the female demon of childbirth,
She'll show you what it's like".

Well my wife woke the next morning,
And looked at me in bed.
And laughed, as the demon had taken my bottom lip,
And pulled it over the top of my head.

well readers, that is all for this issue, but always, always remember... someone is watching you... even right now... who... and why... of course its me lah! well, remember to look out for the 10th special edition issue of the Peanut times!! this is reporter Gareth signing off... and still watching you!!~~