Wednesday, 20 January 2010

the Peanut times By:Gareth

Greetings~♥

welcome people to the 18th issue of the peanut times and we are another issue ahead to the pea-versary! remember, this time, i promised it will be a Bomb, so kick back and relax ppl! Today, i'll leave my homework for last so... no boredom! Now,we have quiz time. According to the GarethRocks Cbox survey, 100 out of 100 people do not like two nameless dorks, DOG and ~ANONYMOUS~. Anonymous said that it ( i personally think that anonymous is a monkey, hence the use of "it" ) loves( ewwwww....) me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? sorry, caps lock keys... forgot to turn off. my bad! And looks like my Gf is angry, so anonymous dork, come back to the blog and type "sorry reporter's Gf" a hundred times!! lol... but srsly, do that!!!! we are all up for 2 quizzes today, so please answer in the comment box!

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH DOG AND ANONYMOUS?

A) finish eating already, nothing better to do... ( translation in chinese) chi bao mei shi zuo。

B)they are idiots

C) no description

i know the choices are a bit... nvm, i cant think properly whenever i mention these...skunkbags.....

WHY DOES ANONYMOUS 'LIKE' GARETH?

A) Gareth is godly awesome and handsome

B) IT just wants to intimidate Cheryl to back away from me (DARN THOSE FREAKS)

C) no description

lol.... now to cheer things up, how about some jokes?


CRAP!

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Hello, I would like to be castrated."

"That's a lifechanging operation," says the doctor. "Are you sure you want to do it?"

"yes," says the man. "and if you refuse I'll go to another doctor."

"OK," says the doctor, "but it's against my advice."

So the man has his operation and he's walking around the hospital the next day with a bandage around his private area. Suddenly, he sees another man with the same thing. So he walks up to him and says, "Good afternoon, I see we got the same operation."

"Yes," says the other man, looking happy. "I've been wanting to get circumsized for 37 years, and I've finally done it."

The first man looks panicked and says, "Shit!! That's the word!"

Guess That Flavor...

The Principal of an elementry school went into a classroom and said, "I will give you all a lifesaver, but you have to guess the flavor because I'm not telling you. Whoever wins will get a prize." So he gave them all honey flavored lifesavers.

Nobody could get it, so he gave them a hint. "It might be what your mom calls your dad sometimes."

Little Johnny stands on his chair and yells, "Don't eat them! They're asshole flavored!!"


hahahahaahahahahaha.... how hilarious... now, its time for poems!!!

A Cat Named Joe

There's a cat named Joe and you wouldn't want to know
But he thinks he'd like to be a Hippopotamus
And it sounds very strange, and he really wants to change
And in that way he's just like a lot of us

Oh, it wouldn't be so bad if he was certified as mad
But he's not... he holds a normal conversation
It's just that within he's in a different kind of skin
And it causes him a lot of botheration

An identity crisis in a bloke like that
Has got to get a high consideration
At times we're all like that, the hippo and the cat
And it can make for very strange conversation

You see, Joe can't swim... it's just not natural to him
He gets his fur wet and whiskers out of shape
And a hippo feels a dud unless he's wallowing in mud
With his big toothy mouth all agape

But you look into Joe's eyes and know he loves the shape and size
Of his big, round cousin in the water
So he sits by the river with his heart all a-quiver
Wanting what he really shouldn't oughta

An identity crisis in a bloke like that
Has got to get a high consideration
At times we're all like that, the hippo and the cat
I guess we'd sometimes like to change our situation
.

Homework time! Why is Elizabeth Choy famous? she is a Hakka from North Borneo, noted for being a war-time heroine during the Japanese occupation and the only woman member in the Legislative Council in 1951. She also posed as an artist's model for the famed sculptress, Dora Gordine, who did two works of her entitled Serene Jade and Flawless Crystal. She worked as a teacher and became the first principal of the Singapore School for the Blind. She was also known for her qipaos and bangles, for which she was nicknamed "Dayak woman of Singapore"


okay everyone, that is the end now... *sniff* *sniff* anyways, keep a lookout for the next issue!! i, sincerely hope you will keep to issue number 19, cos' if you don't, i don't get paid. thank you very much, this proves this issue was brought to you by carpark, bringing you a space. this is reporter Gareth signing off~~ *remember, i don't get paid*

1 comment:

  1. quite good gareth

    Calvin Tan

    *I think ANONYMOUS and DOG are the same people!!!

    ReplyDelete