Wednesday, 27 January 2010

the Peanut times By:Gareth

Greetings~♥

......and which is why i say, the frame, is definitely better than the shampoo bottle. And if you don't believe that, try framing your picture, with a shampoo bottle! errhmm... ohh!! i didn't know you were there! i was busy filming for my variety show... anyway, welcome to the fabulous 2oth anniversary issue of the peanut times! i promise a great time for everyone today because... well, i got homewo---nevermind, i will do my homework first so we can enjoy the rest of the time together!

Typically, a river flows over a large step in the rocks that may have been formed by a fault line. As it increases its velocity at the edge of the waterfall, it plucks material from the riverbed. This causes the waterfall to carve deeper into the bed and to recede upstream. Often over time, the waterfall will recede back to form a canyon or gorge downstream as it recedes upstream, and it will carve deeper into the ridge above it.

Often, the rock stratum just below the more resistant shelf will be of a softer type, meaning that undercutting due to splashback will occur here to form a shallow cave-like formation known as a rock shelter or plunge pool under and behind the waterfall. Eventually, the outcropping, more resistant cap rock will collapse under pressure to add blocks of rock to the base of the waterfall. These blocks of rock are then broken down into smaller boulders by attrition as they collide with each other, and they also erode the base of the waterfall by abrasion, creating a deep plunge pool or gorge.

Streams become wider and shallower just above waterfalls due to flowing over the rock shelf, and there is usually a deep pool just below the waterfall because of the kinetic energy of the water hitting the bottom. Waterfalls normally form in a rocky area due to erosion. After a long period of being fully formed, the water falling off the ledge will retreat, causing a horizontal pit parallel to the waterfall wall. Eventually, as the pit grows deeper, the waterfall collapses.

Waterfalls can occur along the edge of a glacial trough, whereby a stream or river flowing into a glacier continues to flow into a valley after the glacier has receded or melted. The large waterfalls in Yosemite Valley are examples of this phenomenon. The rivers are flowing from hanging valleys.

Glad that is done... time for some jokes now! i bet you guys were bored because of all that but don't blame me, blame "SOMEONE" else!! no one in typical, but really, the amazing, intriguing GarethRocks survey shows that 97% of the class does not like homework, except for those jokers who love homework! :D so let us enjoy some great jokes now!


A Blonde Goes On: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire


Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"


Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it........

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."


I am going to dedicate this next joke to our dearest Ms Zarinah......
imagine now, that you are a girl saying this to Ms Z......

Breathless

I'm not too fit, I'll have you know
I'm overweight and rather slow
But when I run, I manage; though
I'm breathless!

Though in the past it was not thus,
I am not one to swear and cuss,
Except that, trying to catch a bus,
I'm breathless!

When as a youth, I used to play
With sweet young ladies in the hay
The girls would be the ones to say:
"I'm breathless"!

At sport I'd always stay the course
I was as strong as any horse
But now, with just a little force,
I'm breathless!

I guess my life has reached the stage
When these things happen at my age.
If all my passions I assuage,
I'm breathless!

I have my annual body checks
And find out if I need new specs.
But sadly, when I'm collecting tax,
I'm breathless!

No longer, now, do I aspire
To climb a mountain, walk on fire;
Instead I curb each wild desire -
I'm breathless!


Danger!

I didn't chop my fingers.
They're just short and pink and fat.
I didn't chop my fingers
when I went CHOP, CHOP, like that!
I didn't chop my fingers
when I climbed up on the chair.
I've still got ALL my fingers,
and there's NO blood, ANYWHERE.

YOU might chop your fingers
if you play with Grandma's knife.
Just don't go in Grandma's kitchen,
if you want a peaceful life.

Grandma keeps the gate shut.
She won't even let you SEE,
all the poison in her cupboards,
and hot things for cooking tea.

She's got knives and forks and scissors, AND electric plug in toys.
And I'm not allowed to have them, 'cause I'm just a LITTLE boy.
When I get much bigger,
life won't be such a bore.
I'll have knives and forks and scissors,
AND a BLOODY HUGE chainsaw.

well, that was tiring, i think my fingers came off too... nevermind, the peanut times will be taking a break for a while so another newspaper by me will be replacing it. this is reporter Gareth signing off~~




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