Flashes of lightning flashed in the sky.Loud booming of thunders follow next.By seconds,it was raining.It made loud pitter-patter noise on my class window.I thought to myself,"What an unlucky day.I had forgotten to bring my umbrella.I guess I had to run home today."
It was the same boring English lesson on grammar.Within minutes,the school bell rang and parents and maids were waiting with umbrellas.Some cars were waiting near the bus stop.I walked out of the gate and to the traffic intersection,with nothing to block me the rain.Slowly,the rain became heavier but the 'green man' had not light up.
Upon seeing no cars around,I thought to myself,"I will just break the rule once,just this once!I could not afford to be sick as I have a test tomorrow!"I looked around and saw no oncoming cars.i dashed across the road.As the road was very wide and the ground was slippery,I did not run very fast.I heard blasting horns and screeches as I almost reach the other end of the road,I stopped,dazed,looking at the red 'Honda City' car.Before I knew it,I was knocked down.I could feel many people crowding around and chattering and after that,it was a blackout.
The first few sounds I heard after waking up were the sound of my father's snoring and the ringtone of my mother's mobile phone.I could feel my hand being help and I moved.Just as I moved my hand,my mother woke up slowly.When she saw me opening my eyes,her eyes widened and she started to say,"Thank God you are fine!You finally woke up!Let me wake up your father.""don't.It is okay."I replied.Then I asked again,"What time is it now?""Eight thirty in the morning.I know you have a test.It will be postponed till next week,"she replied.From that day,I vowed not to dash across a road without the 'green man'.
Monday, 18 January 2010
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interesting story,especially the part where u describe the part where he passed out.
ReplyDeletexue feng
wow maydelene, very good structure of your story!!! I see you have got a moral too!! Impressive!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe second comment was written by me, Calvin Tan
ReplyDeleteI like the structure of the story and the descriptive nouns you used there!
ReplyDelete-Evelyn
I like the good descriptive word that you use to describe the things around you.I like the part when you said that people around you were crowding around you and chattering.Good work!!!
ReplyDeleteI like your descriptive words but I don't understand the phrase"with nothing to block me the rain"...Your intro is quite good too!
ReplyDeleteDamus
wow!your composition is very well written you used interesting and good phrases.other than that you also used descriptive words ................
ReplyDeletepei zhen
very good,Maydeline.I like your compo as I could feel that it had really happened!
ReplyDeleteBY:Celine Chia
Lovely compo :). As what Celine said, I felt the same too !
ReplyDeleteAlicia
The fifth comment is by Low Qiu En
ReplyDeleteLet me repeat my comment as I forgotten to write my name.Here goes.I like the good descriptive word that you use to describe the things around you.I like the part when you said that people around you were crowding around you and chattering.Good work!!!
ReplyDeleteFrom:Low Qiu En
I like your introduction and the structure of your story-splendid idea!
ReplyDeletezahirah.