the Peanut times By:Gareth

Greetings~♥
yo,yo,yo people!! welcome to the joyful 14th issue of The Peanut Times!! As you all know, school is going to start and i have been drowning myself in revision to prepare for PSLE!!! anyway, its supposed to be happy, so...who cares about school? When i go, i get to see...Cheryl!! lol... Now, let the funny stuff begin!!!

As you know, trees are blue. and they have blue substances. Yeah, they help you photosynthesoose, and thats how you get toffee! oh yes people, toffee's like the latest thing, cos' its spelt,like t-o-f-y, toffee? you get it? okay... time for today's joke of the day, what do you get, when you cross sheng with siong? you get a supermarket!! sheng siong!! dududutoot! thats the drumroll effect... haha

As you all know, it is at night, at six a.m and that totally makes sense cause night is at a.m. a.m stands for after morning in case you geeks didn't know that. okay, as i was saying today, if you look up in the sky, you will see a moon! and do you know what moons are made of? they are made out of tissue paper. so, if one day, you were to tie more tissue paper together, and you get the moon. get it? okay. time for todays joke of the day, what do you get when you cross red with ben? you get redben!! dududutoot!! redben is the cousin of redbull, stupid.(jk)

That was extremely tiring. now... its poem time!! read lah...
American Pie
A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How that "WELCOME" used to make me smile
Now I know that if I had my chance,I could make an anti-AOL stance, and
Maybe I'd be happy for a while
I started singing,
Bye bye miss America on-line
I took a pick axe to its pick ups (but the pick axe was fine)
And good old Freeserve were one client supplied, the day
That Connie
Died.

Now did you write the book of stuff
The arseholes say when you call them up?
It is the bible for them all.
Now do you believe in ABH, oh
Can you lob a brick through AOL's soul, and
Can you teach me how to piss them off some more?

Well I know that you're in love with it
I saw you eyeing up its Bits
And the emails you can choose
And the fourteen shades of blue
I was a lonely teenage cyber nerd
Who knew all the computery
But I knew that I was in the merde
The day that AOL died

We started singing..
Bye bye miss America on-line
I took a pick axe to its pick ups (but the pick axe was fine)
And good old Freeserve were one client supplied, the day
That Connie
Died.

That was supremely exhausting... anyways, keep a lookout for the next issue!! this is the fabulous reporter Gareth signing off~~