the Peanut times By:Gareth

Greetings~♥

hey people, its Reporter here man,and welcome to the 15th issue of the peanut times!! the theme today is a new year, a new beginning. well, the chinese new year is coming soon and again, people are starting to complain about wearing ethnic costumes and some young kids are even gambling!!(well i do, too) one time, i interviewed a boy who was gambling and to make sure suspicion was not aroused, i played, too. the boy kept copying me, and when i had a winning set, he had it too!! gambling is really causing your minds to go "DUDUDUDUDUTOOT....BOOOOOMM!!" so, i really advice you not to play. and in case you gambling addicts out there are biting all your arms and pulling all your hair out, why suffer, kill yourselves now!! :) (jk)

Now for the self destroying homework. Hi! i am Gareth the great and i am from primary 6G!! This magnifico class is a graduating class man! For my holidays, i did quite a great deal of stuff... here's a good one: i got sick! my mouth felt like exploding and thereafter, my throat was being barbecued like bacon on a, campfire, not nice, i tell you. i went to my cousins house and played the computer, my eyes were roasted because of the great focus put on the screen and i went to play basketball after rain. i stepped on puddles and wet my pants. ..........................WAIT A MINUTE, WHY AM I WRITING PRIVATE MATTERS?! i went to the potty... WHY DID I TYPE THAT?! DUDE, MY DARN LEFT HAND IS WRITING SOME "STUFF"... my first day in school was enjoyable, we did some class stuff and i got to meet my friends again!!! now back to reality...

here is the long awaited... poem time!!!

Cinderella

The clairvoyant said the two ugly step sisters

would both win the heart of The Prince

charged them a hundred each

for separate readings,

hoped they wouldn't talk to each other,

and hasn't been seen since.

On the night of the ball

Martha and Mabel's auras shone like moons,

magic crystals dangling to their knees,

their chakras highly tuned,

drove there in a limo

uttering positive affirmations,

stopped off for quick Kombucha teas

and colonic irrigations,

had hasty herbal infusions

before entering the ball,

then, to avoid confusion,

gave the therapist a call.

Cindy, on the other hand,

was so cool, like most poor girls,

drank milk to line her stomach

and wore her mother's pearls,

climbed in through the window

and blew a joint with the band,

then did a real bluesy one,

for which she received a huge hand.

Then exited just before midnight,

leaving her number in her slipper,

walked home, gutted the wine cask,

and watched old re-runs of "Flipper".

Next morning came a letter

in a style which made her wince -

"Cindy, I love you, call me, The Prince."

That was cool... anyway, look out for the 16th issue of the peanut times!! this is reporter Gareth, signing off~~