the Peanut times By:Gareth

Greetings~♥
welcome people, to the 16th issue of the peanut times!! things are getting heated up as three bombardments of evil(and good) are coming!!! chinese new year, valentine's day and CA1!!! yes ppl, CA1 is coming very soon and all of us are studying our heads off!! One special issue is coming, as the anniversary of peanut times is on the 20th issue!! be prepared to read your eyeballs off!! anyway the homework of today is always first, so sit down, shuddup and read!! (seriously, dont read this part!!) OWWW!!! sorry bout' that, my assistant, meemea lang porshee dongigi just slapped my face... how dare you! anyway, My Best Friend... i have 2 best friends... Calvin Tan and my Gf ( my GF IS FOR ME TO KNOW AND FOR YOU TO NEVER FIND OUT!!) Calvin is sassy, a bit girlish, adventurous, cute and smart!! and with a pinch of funny. His attitude is cute, sassy, he is very fun to play with!! sassy all the way!! My Gf is smart, beautiful and pretty. no description because if i do describe, it would be the length of a whole composition. :D
Now its time for news!!! exciting news!! a new section i added to spice up the newspaper!!

News #1 : The Brazilian Bridge That Collapsed
A saddening piece of news... 7 people died a tragic death. i wonder which fatty went to walk on the bridge... whoever you are, try falling down a long bridge and we'll see what happens. i bet you WILL FLOAT... i bet your weight is 757kg and the advice is.. therapy!!!

News #2 : Mis-spelt Words
Guess what ppl, this is what i found in primary 6F!! right, they were doing a concept map for science of energy transfer and they spelt caterpillar as catterpilla!! and they spelt squirrel as sqiurriel!! Haha.. why don't we voluntarily teach them some proper English!! lol...

News#3 (Final) : Maverique Ong News!!
Everyone, Maverique Ong smitten over Goh Pei Zhen! for your in fo smitten is the past participle of smite and the meaning is: To affect sharply with great feeling... Looks like Maverique has found a crush!! lets wait for more news on our new-found couple!! another news about him, You know about the article on the English corner? titled "Shameful Act' ? it is about a lady who was groped by four men in her bikini set and when Maverique read it, he said.. HE ENJOYED IT. Now we all know Maverique is a perv... lol!!

Remember to stay tuned for more news! now, time for poem time!! enjoy some good poems!
Car Repairs
We spend our money on new cars,
Hoping for a break,
From car repairs and all such stuff
Those things our money take.

Before too long, we find we're wrong
Back to the shop we go.
We get a bill that robs our thrill,
And almost all our dough.

Back on the road, we head for home,
Assured that all is well;
We see the smoke, it blinds our view-
What is that awful smell?

We grab the wheel and pull off quick,
Our nerves are on the border.
Then we discover what's the matter
The rad is dry-no water!

When that is done, we feel relief,
We head on down the trail.
"What's that," you ask, "behind us now?"
A cop is on my tail.

He tickets me, but it's not fair;
I don't believe it's right;
He said to me, it was my fault,
I had just one tail light.

Down the road, it's getting late,
I'm madder now than fire;
Almost home, three miles away,
....I have a flat tire.

Once that is fixed, I drive on home,
Pull in my yard to stay.
"Repossess it, come and get it,
I'm not going to pay!"

And so it is, the car is gone,
Let's sit and have a talk.
But if we want to go somewhere,
By golly, we will walk.

very tiring, indeed. look out for the next issue of the peanut times where we talk about valentine's day!! roses are red, violets are blue, i love you, and so do you! haha... this is reporter Gareth signing off~~