Monday, 18 January 2010

picture composition 2

Bang!A puddle of crimson blood laid underneath Peter and every person watched at horror. He collapsed on the ground like a rag-doll , his arms and legs sprawled. Peter who laid on the ground , lifeless , wished he had heeded his mother's advice at that moment.
It was another mundane day when the school ended. Students carried their heavy school bags and trudged home under the scorching sun. Peter ran back to change as he had promised his friend , John, to go to his house to play video games. They agreed to meet at 3.30pm and it was already 3.30pm.Peter rushed to the busy street "The bridge is so far away ! It is already 3.15pm!" Peter whispered to himself as he stood by the side of the busy road. He suddenly remembered his mother's advise. To always use a bridge but Peter treated his mother's advise like a flea ion his ear. He crossed the street without thinking twice. Out of the blue,a car appeared. Blaring of horn and screeching of brakes were heard. The driver's attempt of swerving the car to avoid hitting Peter was to no avail. Peter watched in horror as the car moved closer at every frightening second.
When Peter woke up , he saw his parents crying beside him. He asked his mother what had happened. She shared the horrible sad truth that had happened to him. Peter was paralysed down from the waist and would be wheel-bounded for the rest of his life. Peter knew that he had learnt his lesson the hard way ~~Cheryl

3 comments:

  1. Very good!I like the way you started off the composition.

    Jasmine

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  2. You used "horror" twice which I think you could use another phrase like,as pale as a white sheet of paper but your grammar is almost perfect.KEEP UP!

    By : Joelvin

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