Thunder rumbled through the air as white streaks of lightning formed in the dark, grey sky. Big, fat drops of rain fell from the ominous clouds as gusts of wind blew around. I was on my way home from school when it started raining. The rain had started off as a light drizzle but it had gradually become heavier. My friends had all left the school by asking their parents to drive them home. Only then did I regret not heeding my parent's advice on bringing an umbrella.
I broke into a brisk walk as I made my way home, using my books as a shelter for myself as I trudged through the heavy rain. My house was still quite far away and I could not wait to reach home to enjoy a warm, delicious cup of hot chocolate.
Suddenly, as I was about to cross the road, a red Toyota came speeding towards me. Terror gripped my whole being and perspiration started dripping from my forehead. I was powerless and frantic with terror. Then, "Bang!" the car collided with me. The impact was so great that I was flung several metres off from my original place. I landed on the ground with a heavy thud and lost consciousness.
When I woke up, I found myself at the hospital, lying on the bed. My eyes met those of my parents and I asked how I had ended up in the hospital. My father told me that a passer-by had seen me on the ground and immediately called the ambulance. The driver, whose name was John, was drunk and sent to the police station for interrogation.
After that unpleasant accident, I told myself never to walk home in a storm without my umbrella again.
Monday, 18 January 2010
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I like your composition as it has many good phrases in it. Maybe you can tell me how you managed to remember all those useful phrases!
ReplyDeleteJolice
Your composition is very well written with full of interesting phrases and is interesting that would make people want to read on your story!:)
ReplyDelete~Tricia~
I agree but better resolution
DeleteGreat story doh
Deletei liked the way you described the rain.:)
ReplyDeletemavis
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ReplyDeleteI like your composition alot because it has lots of good phrases and it is very interesting
ReplyDeleteli jing
i like yuor composition as you used many good phrases...Good job describing the rain!
ReplyDeletezilin
wow! so many good phrases! especially the rain part... ~~cheryl
ReplyDeletevery good!!=)
ReplyDeleteyour composition is very good as you described the weather very well use a lot of good phrases and words
ReplyDeletemanoj
ReplyDelete